How Can Parents Communicate With Their Teen While They Are Abroad?

Your child is completing high school and leaving home for the first time—obviously, you want to stay in touch, especially as they aren't simply going to college down the road but living for a year in another country!

A gap year isn't just another trip for your child—it's their first step into adulthood. And it isn't just another routine transition for you, either. It is a time for new independence and growth for both child and parent, a journey that will strengthen your bond and bring new perspectives.

As you gear up for the gap year, here are some long-distance tips to stay in communication while your child is away and some advice for the soul on coping with the significant change. This gap year is a time to stand back, trust in the foundation you've laid as a parent, and be amazed at your child's journey.

Creating Space: Staying in Touch Without Overwhelming

While on their gap year, your child won't live under your roof for the first time. You won't know their whereabouts from moment to moment or day to day. This can be challenging to adjust to! The key is balance.

While you may be aware that your communication will lessen, there are strategies for communication to ensure you can stay in touch without any technical obstacles.

• Download Communication Apps: Make sure you and your child have downloaded long-distance communication apps like WhatsApp or Skype. Both allow for text messaging and voice or video calls. If you have iPhones, you can also communicate using iMessage, so long as both parties have a reliable internet connection.

• Agree on Call Times: Due to time differences, it's helpful to have scheduled moments to catch up. This way, you both know when you can connect without disrupting their experience or your routine.

• Check-In with a Purpose: Whether it's sending photos or having regular video chats, find a rhythm that lets your teen know you're there without you being overbearing or your child being too clingy.

Trust the Process: Letting Them Solve Problems

One of the hardest parts of this gap year journey is letting your child navigate challenges without immediately stepping in.

They will face homesickness, language barriers, and cultural differences. They will face regular new-to-adulthood challenges, too, like how to get a stain out of laundry, managing their monthly budget, or figuring out public transportation in a foreign city. But this is where they learn. Typically, we don't grow without a little (and sometimes a lot) of struggle.

First, trust yourself! This whole parenting thing has been a lot about preparing them to be competent adults. You taught them what they need to know. Now, trust them.

Trust them to handle these bumps in the road—sometimes with your advice, but often without it (it's okay to stay quiet sometimes, even if you have an easy answer). They'll surprise you with their ability to adapt and grow, and this trust will strengthen their self-confidence and your relationship.

Adjusting to the In-Between

Suddenly, being a parent looks a lot different, with far fewer day-to-day responsibilities. You may feel unmoored, experiencing emotions like loss, confusion, and even freedom.

You miss your close connection—daily parent-child communication, shared meals, or simply knowing where they are at all times. You might also feel confusion about what your role looks like now; what does it mean to be a parent if you're not responsible for feeding them, helping with homework, driving them to activities, or reminding them of daily tasks? You may also experience a sense of freedom, far fewer meals to cook and perhaps a quieter and more peaceful house.

No matter what you feel, it's okay and normal! Ride the waves for a while, knowing that the initial big emotions will stabilize in time. This in-between phase, where your child is stepping into adulthood but still needs you in many ways, is also a moment for you to reflect and embrace your own transition. It’s natural to feel unsettled as you adjust to this new dynamic.

Time to Focus on You: Rediscovering Your Own Passions

With your teen off on their adventure, now's the time for you to focus on yourself. This could mean exploring new or paused passions or even planning your own gap year, traveling child-free. Celebrate the freedom this empty nest brings and the fulfillment of raising a child who is ready to take on the world.

Celebrate the Successes (Theirs and Yours)

Remember, this gap year is a huge accomplishment—not just for your teen but also for you. You’ve raised an independent child who is doing something unique and fascinating: traveling the world! Their fearlessness and rich curiosity are a reflection of your parenting. 

They’ll learn so much—a new language, a new culture—and they’ll make incredible friendships and have unforgettable experiences. You’ve raised an adventurer. That’s certainly something to celebrate. Take pride in your role in helping them become the bold, curious person they are today.

Is your child still deciding where to take their gap year? Check out CIEE’s amazing Gap Year Programs centered around language immersion and host family living.